Why do you need someone else that close when you have a partner?

You must have had or heard about that conversation at least once: is there a chance of being best friends with a guy or girl without being sexually or romantically involved with them?

Based on personal experience, my opinion is that it is absolutely possible.

However it is not so common to be besties with someone of the opposite sex without, at least once, feeling some sexual or romantic type of way towards them.

Most people go through this phase with people they call their ‘besties.’

However, if you do not act on that feeling, you’ll likely overcome it with time. When you somehow make it past this phase, he/she will become just like a cousin to you.

The idea of sex with them will no longer cross your mind.

Having said that, no matter how unsexual you are with a bestie of the opposite sex, you can’t afford to have them around in a relationship.
That, as far as I’m concerned, is something that should stop once you get into an exclusive relationship.


And here’s why: a bestie is literally your best friend, someone who has your back, looks out for you, and spends lots of time with you.
You both have inside jokes together, you go to the movies, events, go to the beach, go to concerts, and basically any activity that you like doing together.

By the very concept of ‘besties’ as defined above, you put yourself in a very difficult situation by trying to keep up all those obligations why still staying true to your partner and giving them all the attention partners always like to get from each other.

Imagine being in a relationship or being married to someone who wants to do all the stuff listed above, but not with you.
The idea does not sound or look right to you, does it?
I thought not.
Besides, if you are going to do spend almost all your time with another guy as besties do, where will you get time to spend with your boyfriend.

Guy, your relationship with bae does not need the stress and suspicion that naturally comes from having another girl around you all the time.

Having a bestie of the opposite sex is not wrong but that’s a rule that only applies when you are single.

Being married or in a relationship where another guy or babe is hovering over everything you and your partner do, or lingering on the sidelines is hardly comfortable, if ever so.
Again why do you need someone to be that close to when you have a boyfriend?
Why do you want to open up yourself to another babe that much when you have a girlfriend or wife?
Sure, being in a relationship is not a reason to be cut off from your friends, regardless of gender.
But good reasoning dictates that you need to keep your friends close but your partner closer.
Whatever you have heard, if your babe or man is not who you do all your bestie stuff with, you are doing wrong.
And it’s only a matter of time before that relationship begins to crack and from there, surely you know what eventually happens if you do not correct your ways.

Ayoola Adetayo / Pulse NG

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Nigerians in South Africa
Nigerians in South Africa 8193 posts

We are about democracy, human rights, public opinion, political behavior, civil rights and policy aimed at improving the human condition, with a focus on African countries.

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